Troubled Waters

I haven’t posted in awhile. I am still feeling pretty raw and not really sure what to do with myself at times.

A little over a week ago I got some devastating news. Out of the 6 embryos we sent for PGS testing none of them were normal. 5 had various abnormalities and 1 was “no result”. My RE felt that none would be viable and we have nothing to transfer.

I was completely shattered. I knew they wouldn’t all be normal, statistically about 30-50% are typically “aneuploid”. I had read some studies showing some women, even egg donors, can have higher rates of abnormal embryos than normal but to not have a single normal embryo really shocked me.

Now I feel like there are many more questions than answers.

I feel like the best way to move forward is to treat this like a failed cycle and move forward but I must say this has really shaken my confidence and made me question whether or not this is our answer. It was really difficult to start considering the “what ifs” and possibly confront the future child-free…

My RE didn’t mention the “no reuslt” embryo, I was told they were all abnormal but when I got a copy of the results I found out that isn’t necessarily the case…. Part of me is holding out hope that this little bean could still be normal and that they just didn’t get enough DNA to be able to amplify the sample.

For now I am trying to somehow put this behind me and trying to feel “normal” again. I wish I was in my happy little hopeful bubble. I feel like a wounded warrior already…